I have started and deleted this blog so many times, making my feelings public is so very alien to me as i am such a private person, but i feel it's so important to tell our story, to tell everyone about our very precious son Cadon.
So where do i begin?....
October 3rd 2008.
Our 20 week scan the day that changed our family forever.
We had dropped our two youngest children off at school and had to take our oldest with us as he had a staff training day, I remember joking in the car with my husband about finding out the sex of our new addition, my husband so eager, me wanting to wait for the surprise. The three of us laughing and joking as we entered the sonographers room, the warm feeling of jelly accross my very pregnant stomach and me telling the sonographer that she was on no uncertain terms not to give away the sex of our child. And then... that look on her face as she turned the screen away. I started to cry and then panic, as I realised my 12 year old son was in the room with us, he refused to leave the room because I was crying, so we all held hands as we were told about lemon's and banana's and open spine and oh it's a boy and termination. And then silence .. and a point blank refusal to give up on my son... ( another son, she'd told us!!!!) She then proceeded with wheelchairs, mental retardation, incontinence, surgeries, shunts, death etc ..... I'd already made up my mind i could feel him kicking, had seen his tiny heart beating he was mine.
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